World’s worst songs

Ok, this is the international edition of a “piece”:http://antibiomatika.net/arkiv/2007/02/verdens-kjipeste-laater I recently wrote on my “other weblog”:http://antibiomatika.net/ (international, as in: I’ve taken out one entry, and made it a top-9 list instead of a top ten, and I’ve provided a YouTube-link for another song). In more or less ranked order, these are the songs that would work should you ever need to torture me.
dl. Crazy Frog – Axel F:There is no more appropriate symbol of my limitless hate towards Jamba(Jamster) than this song. Since I’m opposed to the death penalty, I sadly cannot suggest it in this case either, no matter how tempting it may be. Recently, when I was visiting a record store, my five year old son pointed at a Crazy Frog album, and when I pointed out that CF was no fun, he tried to protest and say it’s fun for kids, I replied “Sorry, but we don’t bring that pop-cultural trash to our house”. Really.
Fuentes/Lind/Holm/Nilsen – Hallelujah:I blame this performance of the old Cohen classic, starring former “World Idol”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Idol winner “Kurt Nilsen”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Nilsen, for global warming due to the excessive spinning taking place in Jeff Buckley‘s grave. You don’t believe me? Well, you can “decide for yourself”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPl01GRU2Zw over at YouTube.
Crystal Waters – Gypsy Woman:A hit back when I was a teenager, this song still holds the title of most annoying “lyrics” ever; La da dee da dee da da. Aarrgh.
Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On:Titanic would probably have been an OK movie without this song. Someone gave me this song as a christmas present years ago. I would’ve prefered a pair of socks.
The White Stripes – Jolene:Hey Jack White. Get your hands off Jolene! Now!
Oasis – Wonderwall:Ok. I probably just made some britpop-fans choke on their morning tea (or was that the morning beer?). This song is a symbol of everything that’s ever been wrong with britpop. It also happens to be a symbol of everything that’s going to be wrong about britpop whenever it reemerges.
Christina Aguilera – Lady Marmelade:Do I _really_ need to say anything?
Nelly Furtado – All Good Things (Come To An End):Ok. I just don’t understand Nelly Furtado. She’s done an above average version of Gnarls Barkley, “Crazy”, and then goes on to release this crap. I just don’t get it.
The Fugees – Killing Me Softly:When this song was popular, I always turned off the radio. I just rediscovered that I do. To prevent me from puking.
So: What’s your list?

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  1. Crazy Frog – Axel F
    I don’t mind this too much. At least the original tune is great.
    Fuentes/Lind/Holm/Nilsen – Hallelujah
    I don’t know this version.
    Crystal Waters – Gypsy Woman
    Great tune. I don’t find it irritating that much. I know a lot worse!
    Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On
    A brilliant song. I don’t like her music, but this is a masterpiece.
    The White Stripes – Jolene
    Love the band. Not overly keen on this cover.
    Oasis – Wonderwall
    A classic. I dislike the VERY LOUD vocals at the start though. I always have to turn it down.
    Christina Aguilera – Lady Marmelade
    A song ruined by too many cover versions!
    Nelly Furtado – All Good Things (Come To An End)
    Can’t recall this, but she’s doing some great stuff at the moment.
    The Fugees – Killing Me Softly
    I always hated this.

    My list? Too many to describe. How about these:

    Anything by Westlife
    Blandness defined. Why are they so popular?
    Anything else by Crazy Frog
    Especially the abominable Christmas tunes.
    Christina Aguilera – Dirty
    I can’t listen to this song. It’s the repetitive chorus that grates on me.

    I have a lot of songs I have to turn off when they come on the radio, but I can’t remember the titles (I wonder why). Songs by The Fratellis, The Kinks and other clones.
    I’ll have to think more about this one.